Why pursue international surrogacy?
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Well, there's two separate questions there. Why surrogacy? And why international surrogacy, as opposed to domestic surrogacy?
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For us, for medical reasons, having a baby naturally was not an option. So we had a choice between adoption or surrogacy as the means of starting a family. Surrogacy offered two clear advantages: (1) the possibility of having a child who was, biologically "ours" (i.e. made from our genetic material); and (2) if successful, the result would be a newborn baby, so we would have the experience of raising a child from birth (the vast majority of children available for adoption in the UK are over the age of three years old). For us, these factors outweighed all of the other considerations, including the cost, emotional complexity and process complexity of surrogacy.
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This is not a decision to be taken lightly. Clearly a great many people adopt children and find doing so immensely fulfilling. Adoption is also a beautifully altruistic act that can enhance immeasurably the life of a child who, through no fault of its own, is without parents. It was not for us, but it may be for you.
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And why international surrogacy? We explored domestic surrogacy but concluded that it wasn't for us. In the UK, most surrogacy occurs informally, within families or friendship groups. A typical example would be a woman offering to carry a baby for her sister or close friend. No doubt that arrangement works well for many people, but it is also laden with risk and emotional complexity that is easy to under-estimate at the outset. In any event, we couldn't see any likely candidates within our family or friendship group. There are not-for-profit groups such as Surrogacy UK which help to introduce would-be surrogates to couples looking to start a family ("intended parents"). These could be a good option for many couples, and you should consider them carefully before deciding to embark on international surrogacy, not least because they have the potential to save you a considerable sum of money. However, the emphasis they place on building relationships with would-be surrogates before agreeing to go on the surrogacy journey together may not be to everyone's tastes, and the ratio of would-be surrogates to intended parents is not terribly favourable.
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Finally, some countries - the US in particular - have more developed surrogacy laws that give international surrogacy certain advantages over a purely domestic process. These are discussed in more detail in The Legal Bit.
