It took us two years and one month from the moment, four cocktails into brunch on a London rooftop, that we agreed to pursue international surrogacy, to the moment our baby was born. International surrogacy takes planning. A lot of planning.
For starters, you will need your supporting cast of experts. Our team included lawyers, agencies and clinics in the UK and US. This team will take a little time to assemble, with terms and conditions to be signed, appointments to be arranged and fees to be paid (a common theme in this process). Your experts will be able to guide you through the steps, and no doubt each agency does things differently, but whilst you are waiting there are a few things you can be doing, including:
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agree what your goals are - do you want a single baby, or would you like to try for twins? Some clinics will only do single embryo transfers now, or at least firmly recommend only a single embryo is transferred. Others are more willing to transfer two embryos to increase the chance of a multiple birth. We agreed to try for twins.
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discuss what characteristics you are looking for in a surrogate, what kind of relationship you want with her and her family and what your expectations are for the pregnancy, the birth and thereafter. You will need to agree these with your surrogate in due course and your answers on these and other questions may be used to match you with a surrogate - so it is important that you and your partner are aligned.
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if you are proposing to use your own genetic material, have tests at a clinic in the UK, for both fertility and infections. Men should have their sperm tested for quantity, concentration, motility and defects, and bloods tested for STIs. Women should consider having a scan to ensure that their ovarian reserve (i.e. no. of eggs) is sufficient to warrant pursuing surrogacy, and blood and cell tests for STIs and other problems.
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Plan financially - start to budget and identify the sources of the funds you will need.
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Agree when you will start to discuss your plans with family and friends, and​ how much information you will share. This will be a long process, with moments of triumph and disaster along the way, and it is worth considering when you will want to share news of your plans with others.
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Consider the implications at work. At very least you will need to spend several weeks in the US at the time of the birth, and you should assume that you will have several other trips to the US, for example for the purposes of embryo creation and transfer, scans etc.